When a conflict arises we know what we can to help us understand where we are going.
own conflicts in relationships with other people, you act on what they want. On one side is a first level, for example painting the wall of gray, which certainly does not match what the other person wants, for example painted white. This mismatch has led to the conflict. Above there is another level of questioning of what we already do not have to do with that situation that caused the argument, but the conflict itself. What do we want? Do we want to argue or agree? Our strategy will be totally different in one case or another.
If we want to fight, we will increase the conflict. For example, mentioning previous disputes in other areas that have nothing to do with it. Or accusing the other person of things that go beyond the subject matter. Or looking for arguments untenable. Or attacking the other party.
If, however, we want to reach an agreement, our attitude will tend to more effective communication, dialogue, negotiation. For instance accept that to reach a favorable solution for all parties must give a little and try to understand the position of the party. Try to listen to proposals.
How many times a small discussion about the color of a wall ends up creating a major conflict, because we focus more on make a difference or put your finger on it to reach an agreement? Sometimes even we can not reach an agreement, but we can also decide to stop arguing. (We can for instance give the idea of \u200b\u200bpainting the wall)
What are you looking for? "Resolving the conflict, or win? "Agree or discuss stronger?
You can see how they change your strategies towards the conflict depending on what you want.
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